Sticking with it matters more than suffering through it
We’ve all heard the old joke:
Patient: “Doctor, it hurts when I hit myself in the head.”
Doctor: “Stop hitting yourself in the head.”
Today, I will be your Doctor of Guitar.
After several decades of teaching guitar and watching thousands of successful (and not-so-successful) students, I’ve noticed something important:
A lot of hardworking, well-meaning students blame themselves for problems that are actually outside of themselves.
I’m talking about pain.
Yes, I know Nike says “No pain, no gain.”
But guess what?
Pain… hurts.
And the number one secret to success in guitar—or anything—is simple: keep going.
It’s hard to keep going when you’re in pain.
Is Pain Necessary?
Pain might be physical. It might be mental. It might even be spiritual. But it always hurts.
So is pain necessary to succeed?
Yes, absolutely–some pain is built into the process of growth.
For example, if you’re a beginner learning on a steel-string guitar, your fingertips are going to hurt at first. That’s the price of admission. If they hurt a lot, that’s another story. But a little fingertip tenderness? Totally normal.
There’s the pain of discipline, sustaining mental and physical focus, the discomfort of leaving your comfort zone.
I’m not talking about that kind of pain.
I’m talking about unnecessary pain.
Pain Is Demotivating
Jimi Hendrix turned out to be a pretty good guitar player.
But imagine if little Jimi received an electric shock every time he came within five feet of a guitar.
We probably wouldn’t know his name.
Andrés Segovia? Solid career. But if every time he sat down to practice someone threw an angry cat on his head, I suspect history might have gone differently.
And don’t even get me started on Bonnie Raitt and rabid raccoons.
The point is this:
If picking up your guitar consistently hurts in ways that are avoidable, you’re making it harder to stick with it.
And sticking with it is the whole game.
Unnecessary Physical Pain #1: The Wrist of Doom
This might be controversial in some circles.
As guitar players, we must take care of our wrists and hands.
A bent wrist often leads to lingering pain. Don’t do it.
A straighter wrist allows the tendons to move with less resistance, avoids nerve pinches, and lets your fingers move more easily. Straight wrists matter.
Now, some teachers insist your thumb must stay on the back of the neck in a perfect “donut shape” at all times. They may even tell you that throwing your thumb over the neck is bad form.
Let me redefine good form for you:
Good form = getting good results in a way that feels good and protects your long-term health.
That classical player making the beautiful donut shape? Let’s go deeper:
- The guitar is between their legs.
- The neck is angled upward.
- They might be using a footstool.
- The neck is wide.
- The body position supports the wrist.
If you want to play classical guitar, emulate that setup.
But if you want to play rock or pop guitar—with steel strings, a narrower neck, and maybe even a strap—do what your favorite rock or pop players actually do. And I don’t mean what they hypothetically do. I mean what they really do.
Where is their wrist?
Where is their thumb?
What is the angle of their guitar neck?
I refuse to say that Eddie Van Halen, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Shift or John Frusicante are “doing it wrong.” Look at their hands. Notice anything?
Stop thinking that you are playing chords incorrectly if your thumb is showing!
Focus on keeping your wrist comfortable and straight enough to avoid strain—and put your thumb wherever it needs to be to get a good sound comfortably.
If you must choose between perfect tone and wrist comfort at your current level, choose the wrist.
You can improve your tone gradually. Chronic pain is harder to fix.
Unnecessary Physical Pain #2: The Action of Unpleasantness
“Action” refers to how high the strings sit above the frets.
If the strings are so high you could hang laundry on them—that’s a problem.
I often hear new students say:
“The guitars at the school are so much easier to play than mine at home.”
Yes. They probably are.
Sometimes that guitar that came out of your uncle’s closet, or that was $50 on Facebook Marketplace, or that was a great guitar 20 years ago, is a player-friendly instrument.
But sometimes it has high action and old strings and is much harder to play. That means more effort, more tension, more frustration, and more pain.
You want a guitar that is easy to play.
That might mean throwing on a new set of strings—or it might mean getting it professionally set up by a luthier. Yes, that can be a bit expensive. In fact, if you have that $50 used guitar, sometimes you’re better off just getting a better instrument.
But if you need a setup and you get one, you might feel like you just grew wings. It will be that much easier to play.
By the way, Elizabeth at Urban Canyon Guitars is a great luthier located right inside NYC Guitar School Midtown. She’d be happy to look at your guitar—or bring it in and have your teacher give their opinion.
Because remember: the goal is to keep playing.
Don’t Confuse Unnecessary Suffering With Discipline
That’s true of unnecessary physical pain, like the topics I covered here.
It’s also true of unnecessary mental pain—like feeling pressure to learn to read notes when the guitarists you want to emulate don’t read notes. Or feeling that you must master music theory before it is interesting or useful. (Trust me, it may be incredibly interesting and useful later—but maybe not right now.)
And oh my goodness—spiritual anguish like comparison and self-blame? That really hurts.
The secret to guitar success isn’t heroic suffering.
It’s consistency. And it is hard to be consistent when it hurts.
So let me ask you:
Where might you be accidentally hitting yourself in the head?
And what would it feel like to… stop?
On to greatness!
Dan
Learn Guitar in NYC
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