Home Practice Audio for Advanced Beginners
When you practice guitar—or learn any new skill—you are changing the physical structure of your brain in significant ways.
As you learn, you trigger incredible numbers of processes with complicated names resulting in dense, luxuriant and interconnected physical changes inside your skull!
Imagine watching a jungle grow in your mind.
You sprout axons, your myelin thickens, your dendrites grow branches, you add connections between neurons—and even your number of neurons, the shape of your neurons, or even the size of different areas of your brain can change.
Your brain has changed!
This amazing attribute of the brain to change is called brain plasticity. Our brains are always changing. Brain plasticity does decrease with age, but it never stops. New neurons can be created in our brains for our entire life—even if we live to be 111. Or older.
And guess what? The mere act of using your skills and knowledge changes your brain some more!
Our brains are always changing! And we can help them change so that we learn our new skill (like guitar playing) more deeply and swiftly.
So when you learn, your brain will change in a way that allows you to play guitar (or speak Spanish, be calmer with your kids, focus for extended periods of time, or any other skill) if you give it stimulus and space to grow, like:
Whatever we do, our brain makes it easier for us to do more of.
This doesn’t just apply to skills like playing chords or learning another language. It also applies to attributes like being kind, patient, curious or focused
That’s awesome! But there is a caveat, i.e. “use it or lose it.”
Because if we don’t practice skills and attributes, our brain will also respond. Over time, unused neural connections and neurons are repurposed or die.
That’s right, you can literally KILL your brain cells by not using them.
It gets worse!
We can literally train our own brains to get better at unhelpful skills like being anxious, worrying, reading triggering news, having unhealthy relationship habits, and more. (Neuroscientist Judson Brewer’s books “The Craving Mind” and “Unwinding Anxiety” are useful explorations of how this works.)
There’s no way out! Our brains will change, resulting in variously deeper, new, or eroding structures related to positive and negative habits, skills and understanding.
I find the revelation that much of my skills, personality and habits are changeable to be empowering, challenging—and scary.
It’s empowering, because it increases my faith in my ability and that of my family, team, students, and humans in general to make better lives for ourselves and each other.
It’s challenging, because I realize that when I make a choice like “should I work on my blog post this morning, or should I check Twitter” I am not just choosing a one-time activity—I’m setting a trend and habit for who I want to be which is reflected in microscopic but real changes in brain.
And it is scary, because I fear that our current social media and news environment is like a real time experimental training program to change the brains of hundreds of millions of people to get “better” at being distracted, thinking in tribal and polarized ways, and being triggered and anxious.
But since I’m practicing being empowered and proactive, I’ll finish by focusing on the takeaway, which is that I am blown away to realize that I am involved in creating a work of art called me every minute of the day, whether I’m paying attention or now.
Our brains are changing in this very instant. Let’s make sure we’re involved!
On to greatness,
Dan Emery
Founder, NYC Guitar School
With so many brands and types of guitar strings out there, how do you know which one is right for your guitar?
A string’s gauge (or thickness) and the material it’s made of influence your guitar’s tone and playability. So it’s useful to figure out which strings sound and feel best to you. If you bring your guitar to a store for a string change and you don’t know what kind you want, there’s a chance the guitar tech will select strings for you that he or she uses. That’s fine if you both have the same style. But what if the tech plays heavy metal and you prefer jazz? Those new strings might not let you play at your best.
Fortunately, strings are not too expensive. Go ahead and experiment with different types to see what suits your guitar and unique playing style best. The results might surprise you!
To help you along, here’s a basic guide to strings, followed by a quick rundown of strings preferred by some of our NYC Guitar School teachers!! You’ll discover that their string preferences are as individual as their style of playing.
Quick guide to strings
String material
Acoustic
Electric and Bass
Classical
Coated strings
When acoustic or electric strings are “coated,” it means they’re covered in a corrosion-resistant material. For players with sweaty or oily hands, a coated string may last a little longer than an uncoated one. These strings sound better after they’ve been played than when they’re brand new.
String gauge
All guitar strings graduate in size from thin to thick. When talking about their preferred gauge, people usually refer to the thickness measurement of the high E–saying, for example, “I use 11s”–letting the high E stand in for the whole set of strings. But graduated thickness in string sets can vary, depending on a player’s need. Sometimes you’ll see sets of strings described as .011-.052 or .011-.056, a set of numbers that includes the thickness of the high and low E strings. On a standard 4-string bass guitar, the thinnest gauge starts with the G string.
General rule of thumb for string gauge:
Electric and acoustic
Bass—standard 4 string
Classical
Pro tip: If you change the gauge of your strings, your guitar’s string action may need adjusting. Less tension on the neck from lighter strings will tend to raise the action (move strings away from the frets); heavier strings cause the opposite situation.
Changing strings
When should you change your strings? Some players change them every day. Some people never change them. Some do it when the strings sound dull, they look dirty, or it looks like tiny fibrous shreds are hanging off them. Like everything else related to strings, it’s another part of every guitar player’s learning process. When to change them is up to you.
Before diving into the ocean of strings out there, check out what some of our NYC Guitar School teachers have to say about their string preferences.
Vinnie DeMasi
Guitars: Fender Telecaster, Gibson Les Paul, and Charnel Super Strat (all electric)
Strings: D’Addario XL. “These are brighter and sit better in a mix with other instruments. I like D’Addario because they are a local company—my old student is their current brand manager.”
Gauge (high E): .009 “9 gauge strings are easy to bend in tune and manipulate for vibrato.”
When do you change your strings? “Every four months or so.”
Dan Emery
Guitar: Taylor 514-C acoustic
Strings: LaBella, phosphor bronze, uncoated. “A wound, 3rd string (G string) is essential for acoustic guitars.”
Gauge (high E): .011 “I used to use really heavy strings—14s. But as I got older, I came to enjoy strings that are relatively easy to bend and push down. I like the feel of 11s under my fingers. They’re good for strumming and also picking individual notes.”
When do you change your strings? “When my strings feel a little brittle or sound dull, I know it’s time to change them. I usually change them a couple times a year.”
String wisdom: “The most fun electric guitar strings might be DR Neon Multi-Color strings. They are really fun to play and are brightly colored.”
Jaime Garamella
Guitar: Taylor 814ce acoustic
Strings: D’Addario, phosphor bronze. “I try different brands, but D’Addario is my go-to. They sound and feel right. Phosphor bronze is a good match for this guitar. 80/20 is too brash and nickel bronze is too mid-rangey . D’Addarios seem to have a decent lifespan. I’ve also been happy with Martin Lifespans, Cleartones, Santa Cruz, and John Pearse. It sometimes feels boring to go back to D’Addarios instead of trying something new, but every time I put them on, I’m happy. The only strings I ever played that were a dud were, believe it or not, super-expensive German gold-plated strings a student gave me. I put them on and they were uninspiring. They went dead almost immediately.”
Gauge (high E): .012 “Usually I use uncoated, but sometimes coated.”
When do you change your strings? “I change them every 3-6 months when they sound like rubber bands and lose their zingy magic. In my guitar case, I keep a nerdy little record of string changes. I record the date I changed the strings, brand and type of string, and whether I liked them.”
String wisdom: “What matters most to me is the string’s alloy and the gauge, not the brand.”
David Gonzalez
Guitar: John Price Classical 07
Strings: Augustine Red Regal, nylon. “These strings have a beautiful treble.”
When do you change your strings? “After 60 hours of playing.”
String wisdom: “We’ve come a long way since cat gut strings—not that I wouldn’t use them.”
Leonid Morozov
Guitar: Yamaha AE-11 electric
Strings: D’Addario XL or Thomastik Bebop, nickel plated steel
Gauge (high E): .014 “I wish there were thicker strings, which I like cause I can dig in and make a big sound. I also don’t wanna be afraid to break them in case I play rough.”
When do you change your strings? “I change them about every two months, when they start losing pitch, sound thinner, and don’t feel as good.”
String wisdom: “Round wound strings are a great way to make your electric guitar have more of an acoustic sound. Flat wounds are too muddy for me.”
David Kuhn
Guitar: Kiesel Vader electric
Strings: D’Aaddario NYXL, nickel-plated steel. “A friend recommended them to me, and I think they’re good. But I might not even notice if someone swapped them out for something else.”
Gauge (high E): .008 “I like 8s and 9s, but I might try 7s soon!”
When do you change your strings? “I’m so lazy about that! I pretty much change when the strings break or I take the guitar in for a set up—every six months or so.”
String wisdom: “I pay more attention to action and string gauge than the brand of strings. I prefer the lowest possible action and very light strings. This helps me move around a lot.”
Eric Thachuk
Guitar: Gibson ES-345 electric
String brand: Brand n/a, pure nickel. “If you’re looking for a warmer tone for your strings, pure nickel is a great option compared to steel or nickel-plated.”
Gauge (high E): .010
When do you change your strings? “When my strings start feeling stiff and lose their supple feel, I know it’s time for a change. Additionally, slight tuning and intonation issues are also signs that a string change is necessary.”
String wisdom: “It’s worth considering round core vs. hex core, as round core strings tend to be more flexible.”
Eric Thachuk
Guitar: Fender bass
Strings: Thomastik-Infield Jazz Flats, flat wound. “These strings feel soft and easy on your fingers. The tone is as you might expect from a flat wound string, but with a nice bump to help cut through a mix. Plus, they last forever. Second choice is New York’s own LaBella low-tension flats.”
Gauge (G string): .043
When do you change your strings? “Never! I’ve had the same set on my bass for over a decade.”
String wisdom: “The price for Thomastik-Infield Jazz Flats is high, but when you factor in how seldom you need to change them, the price is quite economical. Other brands make good flat wound strings that are more affordable but nothing compares to Thomastik’s sound and feel.”
Happy playing!
Elizabeth
Singer/Songwriter (and NYC Guitar School student) Alex Genadinik has released a new song in his series of passionate and romantic songs inspired by great art and artists of the past, and by their philosophies.
The latest entry is a serene and tender romantic song with poetic lyrics inspired by Shakespeare. Alex says “Shakespeare has a famous quote “Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.” I took inspiration from that quote.”
The song is entitled “Wind of Sighs”. The lyrics and music are gentle and tender, and the meaning is slightly ambiguous. Is it a breakup song? Is it a song about a lost love or missing someone? Whatever it is, it is romantic, melodious and dream. Alex adds “Because of the slow and gentle nature of this song, it can also be called a romantic ballad. It’s also very dreamy. You can relax while listening to this song, and let your mind drift away to pleasant daydreams. The feel of this song is very tender. I tried to infuse the song with meaning, and make it emotional. Enjoy!”
Listen to the song and find out more about Alex’s music here.
For more music and info, visit Alex’s home page at:
https://www.touchedbyasong.com
When we feel a stirring within ourselves towards our better self, that is a good thing! And when we articulate that desire as a resolution, that’s good, too!
But do resolutions “work”?
Yes and no.
Pointing yourself in a direction is always more effective than being aimless, so yeah–a New Year’s resolution is definitely a step in the right direction. And studies show that there is indeed magic to the New Year; New Year’s resolutions are much more likely to be followed through on compared to goals set at other times.
Unfortunately, despite best intentions, by February most New Year’s resolutions have been abandoned. And as a result, instead of being filled with pride and satisfaction, many of us experience discouragement and self-loathing.
Why? Because the way that most people make resolutions is deeply flawed.
But it doesn’t have to be that way!
These Two Mistakes DOOM Resolutions
Researchers and psychologists point to two major errors in setting resolutions.
Resolution Mistake #1: Making a vague resolution.
“I will lose weight” or “I will be happier” or “I will save more money” or even “I will drink more water” or “I will learn guitar” are all too general. The science is clear, resolutions like this set you up for failure, because they are too vague.
Resolution Mistake #2: Making an unsupported outcome resolution.
Outcome goals like “I will lose 30 pounds” or “I will write 5 songs” or “I will write a book” and all-or-nothing resolutions like “I will not eat any added sugar in 2021” or “That’s it–no more Facebook forever” are not totally vague goals–but they also typically fail.
One problem with big outcome goals is that they take focus away from where success actually happens–usually a bunch of smaller steps. The other issue is that the perfect can become the enemy of the good–like the person who messes up their eating plan at lunch and then says “well, screw it–I guess I’ll eat a half gallon of ice cream every meal for the rest of the year.”
So–don’t make a vague resolution. And don’t make an outcome oriented resolution without including a process for getting there.
Now that you know what not to do, here are two powerful strategies for effective resolutions that DO work.
Resolution Success Strategy #1: The Power of a Single Decision
One of the best ways to support a goal is to look for something that you can do once to help reach it.
Want to save more money? Instead of trying to be disciplined every single day, consider setting up an automatic deduction to your savings account every payday–or select a slightly less expensive apartment next time you move, sign up for a savings plan with a company match, or close a credit card.
Want to learn a new instrument or improve your playing? Sign up for an organized class on a regular schedule with an established curriculum. (NYC Guitar School has 30 to choose from.) Or commit to playing at a wedding or event. (When I wanted to learn to play drums, I scheduled a show in a club for one year out with me as a drummer and invited all my friends.)
Commitment contracts. A few years ago I learned about using commitment contracts to agree to a certain behavior. Now, I have a deal with my daughters that if I eat after 9:30pm I have to pay them $26 each. It turns out that saying “no” to giving up 50 bucks is way easier for me than saying “no” to late night snacks–I only had to pay up twice in the past year. My single decision to make this contract several years ago has saved me countless nights of food related willpower.
Sometimes it takes some brainstorming and strategizing to come up with one of these pivot points–but it is worth it, because your one move will dramatically increase your odds of success.
Does the strategy of doing something once feel like cheating, because it reduces your dependence on willpower?
That’s not a bug–that’s a feature!
Resolution Success Strategy #2: Focus On The Process
Another way to get big results is to pay attention to the process of getting to your goal.
This approach really works–compound interest is real and small actions repeated over time have big results. Also, the process can bend without breaking–if you miss a single action, you can just get back on track the next day or week.
Want to play more guitar? Go to class once a week. Or put your guitar next to your desk and play for only five minutes before beginning work.
Want to eat healthier? When you go grocery shopping, don’t buy junk food. If it isn’t in the house, you won’t need to Or instead of thinking about what you won’t eat, decide to eat the proverbial apple a day.
Want to write more? Make a regular writing time. Or commit to creating one new piece of content a week. (I am responsible to the NYC Guitar School team for creating one new piece of content a week–even though I missed multiple deadlines in 2020, I still created over 40 blogs and videos.)
Again, to use this strategy effectively it is absolutely key to invest some time brainstorming. Come up with four or five potential strategies–and then start with only one!
You Can Do It!
If you have a change you want to make in your life that is AWESOME.
Millions of others have also wanted to make a change, quite possibly the very same one that you are contemplating. And guess what?
They succeeded–and so can you!
Start small and work your process. Or think of a single move to leverage your desire and set yourself up for success. Or both!
You can do it!
Good luck and on to greatness,
Dan Emery / Founder, NYC Guitar School
3 BONUS STRATEGIES:
Last summer, my friend Yancey discovered her son’s forgotten bass guitar in the basement. For years it had been exposed to classic Hudson Valley weather: humid summers in the damp cellar followed by dry winters near the furnace. The bass’s electronics survived the mistreatment, but the environmental extremes caused the neck of this poor instrument to warp so much that it no longer played well. 🙁
Even though you haven’t abandoned your beloved guitar in a basement or near the radiator, you should protect it from changes in humidity and temperature. Both can affect a guitar’s playability in the short term and create deeper condition issues in the long term.
There are a few telltale signs of when dryness and humidity are affecting your guitar. For example, if it suddenly sounds kind of buzzy, but you can barre the F chord like an old pro, dry conditions have caused your string action to get too low to the fretboard. If you can barely barre the F chord or the chords further up the neck are near impossible to play, humid conditions may be raising your string action high above the frets. Over the years, this fluctuating environment can cause your guitar’s neck to warp, your soundboard to get hairline cracks, and lift the bridge away from the body.
You can do a few simple things to ensure your guitar doesn’t act up or crack up and stays in tip-top shape.
1. First, understand the humidity conditions in your home and guitar case. Put a hygrometer, a device that measures the level of water vapor in the air, in your guitar case and put one in your practice room. You can get an inexpensive multi-pack of these gauges from Amazon. The ideal relative humidity for guitars is between 45-55%, but some experts say 35-45%. Ultimately, it depends on your guitar and where you live.
2. Keep your guitar in its case when you’re not playing it. The humidity level is usually more stable in the case (your hygrometer will let you know!), and that protects the guitar from changes in the room. If your hygrometer shows that keeping your guitar in the case is no better than leaving it out, consider getting a better case.
3. Use a humidity control system in your guitar case. One solution is the two-way humidification packets, sold by Boveda and D’Addario, which raises humidity in the winter and lowers it in the summer. The sachets are arranged at the headstock and in the soundhole. You might need a couple of sets in the winter because they dry out (the contents get crunchy). But don’t throw them out! They’ll rehydrate in the summer, or you can carefully rehydrate them yourself–check the Internet for suggestions. (manufacturers recommend always buying a fresh set and not rehydrating.)
4. Oil your rosewood and ebony fretboards to prevent cracking, shrinking, and raised frets. Do this every six months or so, such as when you change your strings. Varnished fretboards, usually made from maple, never need to be oiled. Many people like lemon oil, but I find it builds up with finger oils and dirt against the frets. I use D’Addario’s Hydrate Fingerboard Conditioner, which is affordable, and a little goes a long way–in other words, don’t over-oil the fretboard!
My guitar still buzzes!
If you’ve taken steps to control your guitar’s environment, but issues remain, consider bringing it to the repair shop. For example, a high fret might need leveling so strings won’t buzz. Or your truss rod might need adjusting to straighten the neck and improve the string action. Or the saddle might need an adjustment. For an acoustic guitar, the saddle may need to be raised with a shim, sanded down and lowered, or replaced entirely; each solution requires precise measurements. On electric guitars, what’s usually needed for this is a tiny Allen wrench and a proper ruler; with a bit of internet research, you might learn to do it yourself.
One more thing about saddles
Even though I’m careful about maintaining a good humidity level for my acoustic guitars, it does drop quite a bit in the winter. They can’t compete with my apartment’s old wood and plaster, sucking up every ounce of water vapor during the colder months. So I’ve gotten winter and summer saddles that are different heights, and I swap them out when the action gets too low or too high.
If you have a guitar that seems really far gone, there is still hope for it. Yancey’s bass guitar wasn’t a loss. I removed the frets, sanded the neck, and then installed new frets. Now it lives a happy life in the properly humidified oasis of its case, except when my friend Lisa comes over and plays it. 🙂
Happy playing!
Elizabeth
By day Alex Genadinik is one of the internet’s top online instructors teaching marketing, entrepreneurship, professional skills, and personal development to clients around the globe. In his spare time however, Alex has recently begun pursuing his true artistic passion—becoming a guitar-slinging singer/songwriter who uplifts and inspires others through his music. Explains Alex, “There’s an emotional lift that comes whenever you hear a song that resonates with you. It gives you butterflies and takes you to a magical place. Listening to music that touches me emotionally also inspires me to want to create that feeling for other people as well. I wanted to try my hand at crafting something beautiful and magical too.” Over the last several years Genadinik has written, recorded, and produced on-line videos for many of his songs. I recently had the chance to speak with Alex about his aspirations for his songwriting and for bringing his music to a larger audience.
Vinnie DeMasi: When did you first pick up a guitar?
Alex Genadinik: I started playing many years ago but initially I didn’t progress as far as I hoped. I kind of took an extended pause to concentrate on my career, but just before the COVID shutdown, I resumed studying by taking classes at NYC Guitar School.
Did you start composing your own songs right away?
Yes. It was shortly after I started classes that I began songwriting. My vocal instructor Emily Shrader from NYC Guitar School has been very helpful in teaching me about songwriting.
Alex’s most recent release:
You actually recorded a duet with her, yes?
Yes. I wrote a song called “Girl with a Pearl Earring” which was inspired by the Johannes Vermeer painting of the same name. I thought the lyrical concept was interesting, but after I recorded it, the music seemed somewhat plain. I hit upon the idea to have a female singer be the voice of the girl in the picture to give the song more dimension, and who better to sing that part than Emily? That came late in the production of the song and it really changed it for the better.
Hear “Girl With the Pearl Earring” here:
Where do you record your songs?
I generally record the basic vocal and guitar tracks in my bedroom, then send them off to my producer Steve Glazer who fills them out with other instruments. I give him a general idea of what I want, then he works his magic!
Who are some songwriters you admire?
I was born in the part of Russia that is now the Ukraine and many of my early influences came from there. One important figure was the late Vladimir Vysotsky who was an influential musician, actor, and poet. He’s kind of like the Russian Bob Dylan. Also in Russia, there is a strong tradition of poetry as artistic expression and this greatly impacted me as an artist. A perfect example of this was the poet/musician Bulat Okudzhava. I’ve actually translated and covered many of his songs in English and you can find links to them on my blog. (Hear Alex’s English versions of Bulat Okudzhava’s songs on his blog Touched by a Song here https://touchedbyasong.com/bulat-okudzhava-poems-and-songs-in-english/. Among American musicians, I’m drawn to people like Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Neil Young, and Johnny Cash—artists who have very deep and meaningful lyrics.
How do you draw inspiration for your songs and lyrics?
When I was in college I learned about the Socratic Dialogue and one of the questions we were asked was “What is Beautiful?” We never really came up with a definitive answer because beauty can be subjective, but it did get me thinking about my own definition of beauty. When I find something I think is beautiful I’m often drawn to write a song about it because what’s beautiful to us as humans is usually inspiring to us as well. An example of this is another song of mine called “Michelangelo” which was also based on a feeling I go from a painting; in this case Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam. Not all of my songs are about paintings of course, but I do try to focus on capturing the emotions you might feel when you are moved and inspired by something.
Listen to “Michelangelo” here:
What are your goals as a writer and performer?
I still want to work on my skills as a melody writer and guitarist. I want to evolve and get better because there’s always room for improvement in whatever we do. As for promoting my music, I don’t really think it’s for a mainstream pop audience but I do hope that through my blog and YouTube channel, I’m able to reach people who are interested in the same artistic aesthetics that I am.
What advice would you give to people who want to begin songwriting and putting their music
online?
I’m not sure I’m the person to give advice [laughs]. I still feel like the guy who needs advice! I guess I would say this though—there are challenges that you probably can’t possibly foresee and it will be frustrating at times. Sometimes your ideas won’t work and other times people will criticize your music. As soon as you take it out of the realm of personal enjoyment and open yourself up to an audience you make yourself more vulnerable. My advice would simply be to keep learning and growing, believe in yourself, and be persistent.
For more music and info, visit Alex’s home page at:
https://www.touchedbyasong.com
I founded NYC’s largest rock-and-roll summer camp back in 2008, when my own kids were small. (They are now 15, 19 and 21.)
Since then, some of our students have signed with major labels, or have become professional musicians or music teachers. But most simply enjoyed playing in bands, writing and arranging songs, performing shows and making friends as they grew up. Either route is awesome. Ultimately, we aren’t trying to help kids be musical stars; we’re trying to help them be their own sort of star.
That’s why our school mission is “Coaching Personal Greatness One Lesson At A Time.” We remind ourselves over and over that we don’t teach guitar…we teach people!
Our students want to grow musically. But they also want to grow socially and creatively, and in confidence and resilience. That kind of growth comes through progressive exposure to achievable challenges, like those found in music and performance groups.
Advancing music skill takes practice. Memorizing parts or lyrics takes time. Learning to listen to other instruments demands focus. It’s risky to voice your opinion in a group with different musical backgrounds or tastes. It’s scary to take the stage and expose yourself. Our students do it all, earning the pride and confidence that come with doing something hard, and the connection and adaptability that come from working with others.
It’s fun, too! Our programs have spawned dozens of independent bands and many deep friendships between kids from different schools and communities.
Want to learn more? Beginners of all ages can get started with a trial private lesson or guitar class. Does your teen already play? Then explore our teen rock band program!
In Spider Man: No Way Home, teenager Peter Parker and his friends have a big problem–and it isn’t a supervillain or a rift in the space time continuum.
It’s worse: they don’t get into their dream college. In fact, it is a desperate attempt to reverse fate and get into that highly selective school which results in a plague of supervillains from other dimensions.
As I sat in the theater with two teenage daughters, I knew all too well that Peter Parker and his friends aren’t the only ones feeling anxiety about getting into college (or more accurately, anxiety about which college). In this movie, art imitates life; according to Pew Research, about 70% of U.S. teens who plan to go to college are anxious about whether they will get into the college of their choice.
Parents are anxious, too. The Let Grow motto “when parents step back, kids step up” sounds good–but when it comes to college, for many parents the stakes seem too high to let go. You probably remember the recent “Varsity Blues” college admissions scandal in which college coaches and test proctors were bribed in an elaborate scam to game the admissions process to elite schools. Those parents were breaking the law–but the NY Times reports that totally legal college consulting is now a multi-billion dollar industry, with tens of thousands of families getting help on everything from essay topics to what activities will look good on a college application.
Why all this fear and anxiety? Psychology Today says heightened parent concerns about which college our kids will attend “reflects parents’ perception that in an increasingly unequal economy, the path to success for their children has narrowed.” Parents love their kids and we want them to be ok–and think that which college they go to will help them.
But let’s take a step back and see what we and our kids really want. And then let’s ask how important which college you go to actually is.
Everyone wants to be happy, right? The Brookings Institute reports that students who attend a “prestigious” school like Yale or Amherst end up no happier than students who attend less selective schools.
If which college you attend doesn’t make you happier, what does? According to a recent Gallup poll, “enduring effects of the college experience on human happiness relate to personal bonds with professors and a sense of ongoing intellectual curiosity.”
So much for happiness. What else do we and our kids want for the future?
According to a PEW research report, we want our school age kids to grow up to be responsible, hardworking and helpful. And teens are concerned with living fulfilled lives–81% want a job they enjoy, and most of them want to know that they are making the world a better place.
Those are beautiful sentiments! But having a job you enjoy depends more on what job you have rather than where you went to college–and being hardworking depends more on, uh, how hard you work.
But…I know what you’re thinking right now. Because as a dad worried about whether my kids will be able to put a roof over their heads, I thought about it too!
What about the Benjamins?
First of all, let’s not kid around. As awesome as the trades can be, that Brookings Institute report makes it clear that college grads have “higher wages, better health, greater job security, more interesting work and greater personal autonomy” on average than people who don’t graduate from college.
But what college you go to matters way less for future income than which specific program you attend. When the Foundation for Research On Equal Opportunity did a comprehensive analysis on the ROI (or Return On Investment, the change in expected lifetime earnings less the cost of education) on almost 30,000 degrees, they found that every college, including the most selective, has programs that statistically make students poorer, not richer.
ROI also drops for students who take more than 4 years to graduate–and it really drops for students who don’t finish college. And taking out a student loan for a fancy degree could also be counterproductive; a Magnify Money study of Financial Reserve data shows that millennials with student debt have only 25% of the net worth of those who graduate debt free.
There are a lot of ways that teens can positively affect their future earnings and wealth that don’t relate to which college they go to–like what career path they choose, how hardworking and motivated they are, how well they work with others and help others, and whether they get a savings and investing habit.
Our kids–and us–are being sold an illusion–the idea that getting into a particular college is more important than their characters and actions. It’s a lie that sustains an expensive college consulting industry and predatory student loan industry, inflates tuition, pressures high school kids to have superficial experiences and activities, exacerbates inequality by loading up high-achieving poor kids with student loans, and contributes to immense anxiety and cynicism in kids and parents.
Want to be happy in college? Do things that make you happy, like being curious and grateful, finding professors and classmates who you can learn from, and contributing to others. Want to make money and become wealthy? Pick your program with wide open eyes, learn good financial habits, and avoid student loans unless you’re crystal clear on how they’ll be paid off–and be sure to be hard working and dependable!
If even a superhero like Spiderman has a hard time fighting the illusion that what college you get into matters more than who you are and what you do, then as mere mortals our work is cut out for us. But here are a few suggestions to help your teen (and you) have a healthier view of attending college.
Read this article with your teen. Ask them what kind of a life they want to live emotionally, professionally and financially. Then, encourage them to explore schools and majors on the FREOPP database for a look behind the curtain. Watch the non-partisan (featuring voices ranging from AOC to Dave Ramsey) Borrowed Future documentary about student loans.
And over and over again remind them that what they seem to be isn’t as important as who they are and what they do. Their best plan for high school is the same as their best plan for life–have fun and do their best! They’ll be fine.
Bibliography:
Teens are anxious about college: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/02/20/most-u-s-teens-see-anxiety-and-depression-as-a-major-problem-among-their-peers
Why are parents scared about college: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-money-and-parenting/201903/why-are-parents-so-scared-about-college
Varsity blues scandal: https://www.bestcolleges.com/blog/operation-varsity-blues-college-admissions-scandal/
Multi-billion dollar college consulting industry: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/13/us/college-admissions-consultants.html
TIME magazine Pew poll: “And the Quality Most Parents Want to Teach Their Children Is …”
https://time.com/3393652/pew-research-parenting-american-trends/
What moms want for their babies:
Mindshare survey of teens:
Where you go to college doesn’t affect your happiness: https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2014/05/20/harvard-said-no-be-happy/
A majority of teens are worried about the cost of higher education
A comprehensive study on the Return On Investment by college and program: https://freopp.org/is-college-worth-it-a-comprehensive-return-on-investment-analysis-1b2ad17f84c8
Oh yes and student loans: https://www.magnifymoney.com/blog/news/student-debt-kills-millennials-average-net-worth/
Money isn’t everything, but:
and
https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/jobs-that-make-a-lot-of-money/
Motivation, not college choice, leads to higher achievement:
I founded NYC’s largest rock and roll summer camp. While some of our students have gone on to get signed to major labels, tour with cool bands, and become professional musicians, most just had fun playing in bands, made music and friends, and went on non-musical endeavors while continuing to enjoy music as a hobby.
Both routes are awesome!
Ultimately, we aren’t trying to help kids be stars–we’re trying to help them have fun, be social, and get better at writing and playing music. But lately I’ve noticed a couple trends in original teen songwriters that I think deserve some discussion, because they are interfering with fun, confidence and skill development in our teens.
I call the first one “Must Release-itis”, the overwhelming feeling that you must release your music publicly. I call the other one “Can’t Release-itis”, which is the feeling that your music can never be good enough to share. These both have the same root cause–comparing ourselves to others.
Let’s break them down.
MUST RELEASE-ITIS: The overwhelming feeling that you must share your music publicly.
A few decades ago, the only way to record music was to book an expensive professional studio. But now, anybody with a laptop can easily record and share music. And they do! In 2021 over 60,000 tracks a day were uploaded to Spotify alone. Millions more were added to Soundcloud, Audiomack, YouTube, Bandcamp and other sites.
So it is no wonder that when a teen writes a song, a well meaning parent or friend will say “hey–you should release that. Like so-and-so from your school did.”
Cue comparison anxiety.
Unfortunately, that can instantly throw a teen into a state of comparison. Instead of staying in the fun and creativity of writing and learning, now they are thinking about how many “likes” their song will get, whether people will criticize them, or are even wondering if their song will become a viral sensation–even if it’s one of their very first songs or tracks.
Give yourself a chance to be a beginner if that is what you are! Don’t worry, 60,000 original songs are going to be uploaded to the internet today, yours will not be missed! Instead, just have fun playing and practicing. Both will bring you pleasure–and skill.
And when a friend or parent says “you should release that”, just laugh and say “maybe later. Right now I’m just learning and having fun.”
(Don’t worry, the internet will still be there later when you change your mind.)
Now, on to the flip side of the comparison trap.
CAN’T RELEASE-ITIS: The overwhelming feeling that your music is not good enough to share.
The ease of uploading music ironically also discourages experienced young songwriters and producers from releasing music even when they are more than ready.
I know a skilled teenage songwriter who has written dozens of great songs and has extensive production skills, but even after weeks or months of recording and mixing isn’t able to say “good enough”. This student may endlessly tweak the EQ on a snare, modify the side chain compression on the vocal track, or repeatedly rewrite a lyric–all to avoid actually releasing a song.
That student isn’t crazy. Often, teenagers who put a lot of time into playing, writing and producing music have developed an ear which allows them to hear the difference between their work and that of The Weeknd, Billie Eilish, Ghost or one thousand other pro artists, and they can be very hard on themselves for the difference.
They are also all too aware of how many other songs are being released, and are afraid that their song won’t receive positive attention (the dreaded “under 1,000 plays”) or will even get negative attention–criticism.
They are right on all counts.
Research shows over and over again that the best way to get better at any creative art is through repetition. After all, the artists you admire most typically wrote and produced scores or even hundreds of tracks before becoming famous–or are working with producers or songwriters who did the same.
Perfection is literally unattainable. You CAN’T write a perfect song or record a perfect track. But you can only approach it with lots of practice! Here’s a great quote to remember:
“Don’t Be Afraid Of Perfection–You Will Never Attain It” — Salvador Dali
So instead of trying to release one perfect song over six months, instead write 24–then record 12 and release 6. Or more!
Every song will increase your capabilities. Those extra songs also increase your odds of getting more listeners–and some of them will be better than that original song you were stuck on.
You’ve heard the quote that “the more love you give the more you have.”
The same is true of creativity. The more you create, the more creativity you have! You have an infinite number of songs inside you. So don’t hold back–because the only thing that stops creativity is stopping.
I’m sorry to report what you already know: you can’t please everyone.
Luckily, success in music has more to do with connecting with people who enjoy what you do than with placating critics. In the meantime, one of your best moves is to connect with other songwriters, who can give you honest and supportive feedback as you improve–and remind you that you are the one who is creating and putting something out into the world, not the critics!
Music is a tough game to be commercially successful at. For example, just 1 out of 140 artists on Spotify makes more than $10,000 in royalties a year. But that still means there are tens of thousands of people who are having fun and making a career in music. And if music is your hobby, it doesn’t matter how much money you’re making, because you’re doing it for fun.
Either way, as an aspiring pro or a happy amateur, the same strategy applies: Finish good work, share it, and then go on to more good work!
Picking up your guitar or opening your Digital Audio Workstation is a great way to experience joy and to express your feelings–and making music with another person is an incredible way to connect with others. Recognizing that outside forces can make us feel pressure to release music, to not release music–or both– gives us the opportunity to set that pressure aside, and just make some music!
Our summer camp program is designed so that campers grow as musicians and as people in our time together. Playing music with others and performing on stage is one of the most exciting and transformative experiences for a young musician (or any musician!)
We empower campers by challenging them to collaborate, compromise, and overcome obstacles as they play music together, build their skills, and prepare for an EPIC show. Check out our programs and how you, too, can join in on a summer of fun!
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