Have More Fun and Build More Momentum In Music And Life By Celebrating Your Incredible, Awesome, and Very Tiny Progress!
News flash—you’re not perfect, and neither am I. And we can’t be! None of us is perfect at everything we set out to do, and we literally can’t be. Even the best musicians aren’t universally “the best.” The world’s most acclaimed classical guitarist might not be able to hold their own in a rock jam, and a skilled jazz player might find themselves lost in flamenco rhythms. This isn’t a flaw; it’s just reality.
And yet, we all too often focus on “the gap,” beating ourselves up for our insufficiencies.
Psychologists call this tendency “the gap,” the space between where we are and where we think we should be. I recently read The Gap and The Gain, by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy, which explains how entrepreneurs who focus on their shortfalls rather than progress often feel bad and lose momentum. It’s not just business owners! Focusing on comparisons and unreached standards leads us all to frustration and self-doubt. And studies in psychology show that constant comparison to unrealistic standards lowers motivation and confidence over time.
Wait, am I, Dan “Coaching Personal Greatness” Emery suggesting that striving to improve ourselves is a bad idea?
Heck no!
But there’s a better approach than beating ourselves up–it is to focus on our progress, however small–because doing so actually builds confidence and skill (and fun)! Harvard researcher Teresa Amabile’s studies on motivation suggest that even minor progress in meaningful work boosts our confidence and energizes us to keep going. By focusing on small wins—like nailing a new chord change, or even just practicing for five minutes—we set ourselves up for a positive feedback loop. This builds momentum, reinforces our belief in our abilities, and ultimately leads to greater achievements.
But the trick is, this only works if we actually notice our progress! If we ignore or discount these small wins, we lose out on what Amabile and her co-researcher Steven Kramer call “The Progress Principle.” BJ Fogg, the author of Tiny Habits, teaches that while celebrating small wins is key to forming lasting habits that lead to long term progress, for many, this doesn’t come naturally. We’re often conditioned to wait for big milestones before we give ourselves credit. But what Fogg’s research reveals is that celebrating small steps actually rewires our brains to associate the behavior with positive emotions, making us more likely to continue practicing regularly.
Celebrating small progress is worth doing. This shift in focus doesn’t just feel better—it’s more realistic. It centers our growth relative to where we are right now, rather than where we think we should be. Ironically, by focusing more on our journey rather than our destination, this approach also speeds up our improvement since each small win reinforces our motivation. And that is more fun!
So go for it! Here are two simple techniques I’ve used for the past few years–and they are awesome! The first is a Positive Focus journal, a technique Hardy and Sullivan recommend for building confidence. This simply means regularly noting a few small ways you made progress; I sometimes do this topically (like progress in business, in music, in health or in my relationships). As a guitar student, you could notice that you practiced a song or even just picked up your guitar! The second technique, inspired by BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits, and Brian Johnson, author of Arete’, is to embrace small, in-the-moment celebrations. Personally, I’ve been trying this out by telling myself, “Yes, I’m crushing it!” after completing even small tasks. My family might laugh when they see me pump my fist after answering an email or feeding the cat, but it’s not only silly–it’s fun! And that fun translates to energy and productivity.
You know what? You are doing awesome! You really are! Did you make it out of bed? Brush your teeth? You’re crushing it! Now, just keep it up!
On To Greatness,
Dan Emery
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